The Growing Trend of Grandparents Funding Grandchildren’s Private Education
When Rachael and her husband began considering the future education of their two young sons, they were faced with a choice between local state schools and private institutions. Their parents, who had always been supportive, offered to cover the costs of a private school instead. “We were very grateful for their offer, and since they made it clear that we would have full control over the school selection, we decided to go ahead. I felt a bit guilty at first, but you only have one chance to get your child’s education right. I’d defy many people to turn down a generous offer like that when given the chance.”
Rachael, an only child who was herself privately educated, and her husband, a sound engineer in the film industry, had fluctuating incomes. At times, he earned as much as £100,000 per year, but other years were less profitable. They couldn’t afford the £60,000 annual fee required for both boys to attend independent schools in their area of North London. That’s why they initially considered state education, including a nearby junior school that seemed perfect for their family.
However, Rachael’s father, a successful businessman, had made several investments that had paid off significantly. “I knew they could afford to pay the fees without worrying about the future or any care they might need,” says Rachael. “My mum and dad are savvy; they know what they’re offering, and they’ve always been keen to give their money to us while they’re alive.”
In 2024, Chancellor Rachel Reeves announced that pensions would be subject to inheritance tax (IHT) from April 2027. This prompted some grandparents to draw on their pension pots earlier than planned. For Rachael’s parents, this felt like the best use of their money, and it gave them pleasure.
Rachael and her husband chose a prestigious, mid-sized private school in an affluent part of North London, surrounded by sports fields and woods, with a 25m pool. The school is known for its excellent results and pastoral care.
A Rising Trend Among Boomers
Rachael’s parents are part of a growing trend among the boomer generation, where grandparents are increasingly funding their grandchildren’s education. According to a 2025 survey by finance company Premium Credit, out of 885 parents whose children attend private school, 47% rely on family support, with grandparents being the primary source of funding. Some pay the full fees, others contribute a percentage.
Alice Edwards, a lawyer specialising in private wealth, trusts, and tax, has seen many grandparents wanting to help with school fees. “Many of our clients in their sixties and seventies are financially comfortable,” she says. “They have adult children who are struggling to provide their children with the private education that they themselves enjoyed. This is partly due to the dramatic increase in school fees and partly because young families are already dealing with higher mortgage rates and living costs.”
Edwards notes that grandparents often want to ease the burden on their children, whether through regular childcare or ad hoc support. Paying school fees is just another way of stepping in. “Older clients are often aware that they grew up in an era of relative economic prosperity and stability, and they’ve built up substantial wealth through property price increases,” she explains.
She also observes that many grandparents prefer to give during their lifetimes rather than wait to include it in a will. “They often start the gifting process when their children and grandchildren need it most, and when they can see the benefits. They take real pleasure in enabling their grandchildren to access educational and extra-curricular advantages that a private school can provide. This is especially true if the grandchildren have particular talents or special needs.”
The Risks of Financial Gifts
While the gesture of helping with school fees can be well-intentioned, it can sometimes complicate family relationships. “Making significant financial gifts can have an impact on dynamics,” says Edwards. “Adult children feeling financially dependent on their parents can lead to tensions, especially if grandparents seek to have a say in how funds are spent. Another risk is that expectations are created which cannot then be met, causing disruption to the grandchildren and potentially wider fallout. If grandparents are unable to benefit all their grandchildren equally, they must be prepared to deal with accusations of favouritism.”
Sophia, a civil servant in Sussex, knows these risks firsthand. When her son was born, her “very well-off and traditional” in-laws declared they would pay for his education when he turned five, at the same school their own children attended. “It was a stuffy, pressurised, hardcore school miles from where we live, with military training and strict dress codes. I wasn’t sending my son there. My husband and his brother hated it too, so it wasn’t like he was keen.”
The situation became awkward because Sophia hadn’t realized this was the expectation. “I would have loved my son to go to an amazing school with lots of facilities, but I didn’t want to feel handcuffed by the grandparents’ money. Accepting fee help is one thing, but when it comes with strings attached, I think it’s best to run a mile.”
Disputes and Resentment
For Anna, an interior designer in Oxfordshire, school fee issues disrupted family peace. In 2015, she and her husband sent their two daughters to a highly regarded private school. “We could afford it, as long as we took low-key holidays and didn’t splurge. My husband worked extremely hard, making major sacrifices to give our kids this education.”
But when her husband’s sister moved to a new area with better state schools, the parents offered to pay for her sons’ private education. “I felt resentful, watching my brother-in-law receive thousands of pounds he hadn’t worked for. My husband didn’t want to say anything, but things were definitely stilted anytime school came up at family gatherings.”
With average termly fees for day schools now at £7,382, up 23% compared to the previous year, more grandparents are stepping in. Duncan Jackson, a Wealth Preservation specialist, notes that inquiries about paying grandchildren’s school fees have increased. “Grandparents are not only offering to pay from the outset, but their children may also ask for help if they’re struggling to pay for the school their child is already enrolled in.”
The Importance of Communication
Jackson emphasizes the importance of open communication. “The key is for families to talk through expectations first, and for grandparents to know exactly what they’re offering and how they’ll do it.” He also warns about the long-term costs, estimating that sending a child to private school from reception to A-levels averages around £355,516 for a day school, with boarding costs significantly higher.
Lucy Fisher, a mother-of-three, shared her experience in 2023, when her parents committed to paying school fees but later ran out of money. “Some of it relates to investments and not enough being set aside for care,” she said. “Now my mum is in early stages of Alzheimer’s, and my dad is panicking about future help. I feel stupid for being so reliant on their finances and not asking more pertinent questions.”
Jackson stresses the importance of looking at different scenarios and ensuring that grandparents have enough money for themselves and the future. “Families that address and talk about these issues are significantly less likely to end up in difficult situations.”
A Positive Outcome
Despite the challenges, Rachael’s sons are thriving at the private school funded by her parents. The eight-year-old is in year five at the £8,000-a-term prep school, which is attached to the £11,000-a-term senior school, where the elder child is in year nine.
To involve her parents as much as possible, Rachael keeps them updated with school reports, artwork, concert invitations, and photos from school trips. “I’m happy with how things are, as the boys have a wonderful time.”
The one worry that creeps in sometimes is that her parents might be disappointed if the boys don’t achieve great results or go to top universities. But she tries to resist that worry, knowing that their offer wasn’t contingent on unrealistic pressures. “I suppose it’s natural to look at all those fees and feel like we have to prove it was worth it. I don’t believe that’s how they see it, though. They say all they care about is that the children are given as many opportunities as possible – just like I was.”
