The Mental Health Crisis Among Young People
As a counselling psychologist, parent, and former teacher, I have witnessed the growing mental health crisis among young people. Countless children and adolescents come to me struggling with stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. In fact, as many as 33 per cent of young people now suffer from serious mental health issues. As a parent, I have seen firsthand how the pressure to achieve academic success can cause deep distress. My daughter, Bianca, who is now 33 and expecting a child of her own, experienced this pressure early on.
When she was just six years old, a teacher significantly impacted her confidence. The teacher assigned an excessive amount of homework and, when reviewing Bianca’s work, marked it with angry red pen, writing “spelling!” across it. Despite using sophisticated vocabulary, she received no praise. This experience left Bianca in tears at night, and the effects of that moment have lingered for years.
The Pressure to Achieve Starts Early
The pressure placed on children to succeed begins at nursery and sometimes even earlier. In the UK, we expect children to read and write at an age when they wouldn’t even start school in much of Europe. From the moment they enter nursery, they are tested relentlessly, creating a culture of constant evaluation. Homework is often piled on them, taking away time that should be spent learning through play and developing social and communication skills.
I have observed how exam stress affects children at increasingly younger ages. As many as 80 per cent of primary school students report losing sleep over tests. According to NHS England (November 2023), one in five children under the age of 16 has tried to access mental health support. However, these figures don’t include those who suffer in silence, too embarrassed or unsure of where to seek help.
The Impact of Academic Pressure in Secondary School
As children progress through secondary school, the pressure to perform intensifies. In sixth form, Bianca chose challenging A-level subjects like chemistry and physics, which she struggled with despite working hard. One night, I heard her crying in bed. When I asked what was wrong, she said, “I’m not brilliant at anything, Mum!”
This statement shocked me. She had been told by a teacher that if the class didn’t get good grades, they would end up stacking shelves for the rest of their lives. That comment was deeply offensive to anyone working in retail. I tried to console her, explaining that most people aren’t brilliant at anything and that it’s okay to be average. I cited examples of successful individuals like Alan Sugar, Richard Branson, and Mary Berry, who left school without qualifications.
The Role of Education Systems and Teachers
I understand why teachers may act this way. The pressure comes from the government and institutions like Ofsted and school league tables. These systems create anxiety among headteachers, who then pass the pressure down to staff. Teachers are constantly told to “step up a gear” to improve their school’s rating. This environment contributes to high levels of stress and workload, leading many teachers to leave the profession.
However, not all young people are suited for academia. For some, it simply isn’t their passion. Most parents want the best for their children, but they can sometimes become part of the problem. It’s essential to find the right balance between encouragement and pressure.
How Parents Can Help Their Children
Here are some strategies to help your child navigate the pressures of school:
- Praise effort, not just achievement: Recognise your child’s hard work rather than focusing solely on grades. A grade C might be the best they can do, and pushing them further could lead to anxiety.
- Reflect on your definition of success: Social media and reality TV often set unrealistic expectations. Ask yourself: What does success mean to you? Is it emotional stability or academic excellence?
- Normalise failure: Let your children know that everyone fails sometimes. Sharing personal stories of failure can help them understand that it’s a natural part of life.
- Encourage reading: Research shows that reading bedtime stories from birth onwards can significantly benefit a child’s development and long-term potential.
Finding Their Own Path
Ultimately, every child will find their own way in life. For Bianca, I explained that being competent is enough for a perfectly good life. Most of us don’t need to be geniuses to live fulfilling lives. With support, love, and encouragement, children can grow into confident and capable individuals.
