The Challenges of Traditional Therapy
Mental health issues are a common concern for many adults in England, with one in four experiencing some form of mental health problem each year. While therapy is often recommended as a solution, it’s not always accessible or practical for everyone. The National Health Service (NHS) offers counselling services, but long waiting lists can be a significant barrier. Additionally, private therapy is financially out of reach for many individuals.
Other factors that prevent people from seeking traditional therapy include time constraints, stigma, and discomfort in conventional therapeutic settings. These challenges highlight the need for alternative approaches to managing mental health.
Empowering Self-Help Through Psychotherapy
Owen O’Kane, a psychotherapist, emphasizes the importance of equipping individuals with the tools they need to manage their own mental health. His goal is to empower people to cope with life’s challenges effectively. “A therapist’s job is never to keep people in therapy,” he explains. This philosophy underscores the importance of self-sufficiency in mental health management.
O’Kane believes that every situation is unique, and while he shares his knowledge, it must be nuanced. “Telling people exactly what to do is unhelpful,” he states. He points out that if there were a simple step-by-step formula to feeling better, nobody would struggle. It’s essential to recognize that mental health is complex and cannot be solved with quick fixes.
The Importance of Taking Time to Breathe
One of the first steps in managing mental health is scheduling time for oneself. O’Kane suggests creating gaps in your day where you can simply breathe and reset. “Good therapy is about clearing away some of the clutter in the brain,” he explains. When there is a lot of noise, it’s hard to see the bigger picture.
Many people are either fixated on what’s going to happen next or stuck on past events. By creating space to be present, individuals can gain clarity and perspective. O’Kane advises making this a priority, even if it feels challenging. “It’s just a case of needing time to stop and reset each day.”
Once you have the time, there is a “menu to explore” of activities that can help regulate the nervous system. These could include meditation, yoga, breathwork, or even simple acts like cooking or gardening. “People know immediately if something is helping,” O’Kane says.
Embracing All Feelings
O’Kane emphasizes the importance of dealing with all feelings rather than repressing them. Repressing emotions can lead to increased stress and anxiety. “The body automatically constricts, then you’re in a state of stress, and that sends a message to the brain that there’s a problem,” he explains.
He compares emotions to dinner party guests, suggesting that individuals should welcome every part of themselves. “There’s no good or bad, right or wrong; they are all part of your humanity.” This approach encourages a more compassionate relationship with one’s emotions.
Nurturing Self-Compassion
O’Kane highlights the importance of treating oneself with kindness, similar to how one would treat a loved one. “In a healthy, functional relationship, there will be a conscious awareness of how you treat them,” he says. Applying this mindset to oneself can foster a more supportive and nurturing environment.
The Role of AI in Mental Health
While AI is becoming an increasingly popular choice for counselling, O’Kane warns against its potential drawbacks. “AI will take the information provided as a given, and it won’t actually look at the broader context of what’s going on or why,” he cautions. There is a risk of reinforcing unhelpful behaviors, such as getting stuck in a reassurance loop.
Sometimes, the best solutions are simple, everyday practices rather than relying on modern technology. O’Kane suggests focusing on basic self-care routines that promote well-being.
The Power of Perspective
Perspective plays a crucial role in managing mental health. Research indicates that anxiety is an inflammatory condition, and lifestyle choices such as diet and hydration can impact this. “An inflamed body is an inflamed mind,” O’Kane notes.
Additionally, considering the people around us is important. Are we surrounded by “radiators” who lift us up, or “drains” who take our energy? Recognizing this can inspire positive changes in our social interactions.
Final Thoughts
O’Kane emphasizes the importance of perspective, reminding individuals that problems are often smaller than they seem. “About 1.3 million Earths fit inside the Sun, and we’re all microscopic dots on it,” he says. This reminder can help put things into perspective and reduce unnecessary stress.
By learning practical tools to handle anxiety and build lasting control, individuals can improve their mental well-being. Owen O’Kane’s ‘A Life Less Anxious’ course on BBC Maestro offers valuable insights and strategies for managing anxiety effectively.





