Finding Your Sanctuary: How to Cultivate a Deeper Sense of ‘Home’
The adage “home is where the heart is” resonates deeply, but what does it truly mean to feel at home? For Katie McCrory, Life at Home Leader at IKEA’s global headquarters, this question has been the cornerstone of her work. Having spearheaded the annual IKEA Life at Home Report since 2017, McCrory has gained unparalleled insight into the emotional landscape of domestic life worldwide. This extensive research, she explains, has profoundly shaped her understanding of homemaking.
“Being so close to research that really unveils what life at home looks, and more importantly, feels like for people around the world… I think it unlocked something in me,” McCrory shares. “Understanding what it is we’re reaching for when we talk about wanting to feel more at home has completely transformed the way I think about homemaking.” The 42-year-old mother of two elaborates, “It really encouraged me to reflect on what I need and want from my life, and what can I learn from the different places I’ve lived and called home along the way.”
This personal reflection, coupled with the rich data from IKEA’s research, inspired McCrory to consolidate her findings and share them more broadly. The result is her first book, Where The Heart Is, a guide designed to help individuals cultivate a stronger sense of belonging and comfort in their living spaces.
The Power of Rituals: Beyond Everyday Routines
A central theme in McCrory’s book is the significance of home rituals. She distinguishes rituals from mere routines by their inherent purpose and intentionality. “Rituals have three parts,” she explains.
Clear Purpose:
The first element of a ritual is its defined purpose. Unlike a routine, which can be automatic, a ritual prompts us to ask “Why?” McCrory elaborates, “That’s why it’s different to a routine. A ritual asks us Why? Why are we doing this? What’s it for? And helps you understand why it’s important… and the intention behind it.”Enabling Behaviours:
Secondly, rituals require specific actions. McCrory states, “The second part is a ritual needs some enabling behaviours. You need to be really specific. ‘What is it I need to do in order for this to be a ritual, and for it to be effective?'”Environment and Boundaries:
The third crucial component is the setting. “Thirdly, which is why the home is such an important part of supporting rituals, they need the right environment and boundaries,” McCrory notes. “So you need to be able to create ‘the where and how of your ritual,’ so it’s supported in the best possible way.”
Uncovering Your Purpose: The 24-Hour Challenge
To help readers identify their core motivations, McCrory suggests an imaginative exercise: envisioning 24 uninterrupted hours at home with no distractions. “What would you do?” she poses. “It’s an opportunity to fantasise. ‘What would I do if I had 24 hours of pure time for me?'”
This exercise, McCrory explains, is a pathway to understanding motivation. By identifying desired activities, the next step is to delve deeper by asking “Why do I want to do that?” She recommends repeating this question three times. “So that purpose question, that interrogation allows yourself to fantasise about what you want to do, and then ask yourself again and again, ‘But why do I want to do that?’ ‘What is it tapping into?’ And when you get to that purpose, she says that gives you the clarity of ‘This is why it’s important; this is my intention, and this is why I need to make time and space for it.’ So that’s the solution to how you get to your purpose.”
Crafting Your Rituals: From Mundane to Meaningful
When it comes to enabling behaviours, McCrory offers practical advice. The key is to identify activities that bring you joy or to reframe existing daily routines into rituals. “First you need to choose what you want to do, and what exactly are they?” she asks. “Things that give you pleasure, like reading books in bed. Or it might be an existing domestic routine you have, but reframe it as a ritual.”
McCrory advocates for leveraging what you’re already doing rather than adding new burdens. “What existing routine do you do without thinking about… having breakfast, getting dressed; could even be housework. Things you’re already doing, and reframe it as a ritual.”
A powerful technique to enhance these activities is engaging the senses. “One of the best ways is to think about your five senses, and bring them into that particular activity,” McCrory suggests. “Getting ready for bed… light a scented candle, use some ambient lighting while you’re winding down, a little music.” The goal, she concludes, is to elevate everyday actions. “So saying: ‘Here’s something I do every day without thinking about it, and how to leverage it up into a ritual. Because that’s going to be more effective than it being a regular, mundane routine.’”
Creating Your Haven: Environment and Boundaries at Home
The home, McCrory asserts, is inherently suited to facilitating rituals, as it’s a space for self-care and self-expression. “The home allows us to see ourselves, it’s also a safe space. In an ideal world, a sanctuary… so you already have quite a lot of boundaries, and the right environment in place to do these rituals.”
To optimise your home for rituals, McCrory suggests creating dedicated zones. “Think clearly about what you’d like to do. Maybe a maybe a bit of yoga or meditation; where you’re going to do that, and do it in the same place every time.” She advises keeping necessary items close at hand, such as a yoga mat, diffuser, or scented candle, and setting up any desired music. “It makes it easier to step into your ritual when you go to that place. It’s also a visual reminder you owe yourself that ritual every day, or every week, because you see it… it’s a positive trigger.”
Minimising distractions is equally vital. McCrory highlights the impact of phones and screen time. “It’s about tending to yourself. I talk about self-care and self-expression, I think these are ways of talking about self-worth. Nurturing is about saying I’m worth this time, worth this space and the energy to do these things… the home is such an extraordinary place to do that.”
Where The Heart Is by Katie McCrory is published in hardback by Torva, priced £16.99. Available from February 19.
