Carol Vorderman, the beloved presenter and former Countdown star, has opened up about her unconventional approach to romance, describing her current love life as a series of “friends with benefits” who invite her “all around the world.” At 65, Vorderman has consistently championed a philosophy of romantic independence, stating that the idea of a full-time partner is something she finds less appealing than her current arrangements.
During a recent appearance on a Channel 5 chat show hosted by Vanessa Feltz, Vorderman, who was part of a day-long “takeover” of the channel’s daytime programming, delved into her personal life. Feltz, probing Vorderman about her “special friends” – a term she uses for the multiple men she sees concurrently rather than engaging in a monogamous relationship – received an candid response.
Vorderman explained that after a happy marriage, two children, and a subsequent divorce, she reached her 50s with a clear perspective. “I don’t really want to settle down,” she stated. With her children grown and her financial independence secured, she finds fulfilment in her existing social circle. “I’ve got great friends. I have a brilliant social life, I love laughing, I love going on holiday with my friends. I’m invited all around the world to go and stay with people. So that’s what I do.”
When asked directly by Feltz if these relationships were “friends with benefits,” Vorderman confirmed, “Yes, I think that’s probably better.” She elaborated on the nature of these connections, highlighting one particular friendship with someone in America. “We’ve known each other for 11 – 12 years, we don’t see each other that often but we talk all the time.”
Evolving Societal Norms and Female Independence
Vorderman’s perspective is deeply intertwined with the changing landscape for women. She observed, “Life changes, society changes, and now what we have for the very first time is a generation of women, my kind of age, our kind of age, who are more financially independent than our mothers ever were.” She contrasted this with her own upbringing, recalling a time when social spaces were segregated by gender. “Unlike when I was growing up, if you went into a pub that be one room where the women were allowed to go and another room where only men were allowed to go, there weren’t cafes, book clubs, all these different things that people can do.” She also noted the significant rise in solo travel, pointing to it as a testament to this newfound independence.
For Vorderman, her current situation is more than sufficient. “I have a wonderful extended family. I have great friends and that’s enough,” she asserted. While not ruling out the possibility of a future partnership, she made it clear that it’s not something she actively seeks.
A Candid Discussion on Modern Relationships
This openness about her romantic life isn’t new for Vorderman. Earlier in the month, she cheekily revealed on Alan Carr’s Life’s A Beach podcast that her number of “special friends” had dwindled to three, quipping, “Times are hard.”
However, she was quick to distinguish her approach from fleeting holiday romances. “Here’s the thing, there’s a big difference between going on holiday and having a you know what and coming back. And I don’t do that,” she clarified. Her current arrangements are decidedly long-term. “It’s very different. They’re three like quite long term.”
No Desire to Settle Down
Vorderman’s stance on not wanting to settle down has been consistent. Having been married twice previously, her last known relationship was with journalist Des Kelly, which ended in 2007. Despite being single for many years, she has no intention of seeking a conventional, singular partnership anytime soon. In a candid interview in January, she joked about the idea of settling down, suggesting it might happen “when I’m 82 – with a 45-year-old!”
She has also used her platform to challenge societal expectations placed upon women. “There’s this idea that women need a man to travel, to live, to enjoy themselves – you really, really don’t,” she stated. This isn’t a sentiment against men, but rather a celebration of female empowerment. “That’s not anti-men – it’s pro-women, there’s a whole world out there and women are reaching for it.”
The Philosophy of ‘Special Friends’
In 2023, Vorderman admitted to having five “special friends” at one point, reiterating that she “doesn’t do one night stands.” Speaking to You magazine, she explained that this arrangement works well for her because she is not seeking to be in love and is not a jealous individual.
A key element of her philosophy is honesty and a lack of possessiveness. Vorderman stated that all her partners are single, and she would be unbothered if one of them were to find a relationship with someone else and move on. “Oh yeah, yeah, my ‘special friends’,’ she said. ‘I’m continuing with that system and it’s working very well.'”
She revealed that at that time, there were five such friends, with one having been a friend for 11 years and another for seven. She also mentioned that her children, Katie (31) and Cameron (25), are aware of most of these individuals.
Vorderman relishes the independence and freedom this setup provides. She believes there are no issues with her partners desiring more intimacy, “as long as you’re all honest and have a good time.” The guiding principle is to “do no harm,” and she is genuinely happy when her friends are happy, regardless of the nature of their connection.
Her life’s primary goal, as she articulated, is happiness rather than being in love. “I just find people interesting and life interesting,” she explained. This perspective allows her to curate her life and enjoy the aspects that bring her pleasure, a freedom she feels is more accessible in her 60s compared to the demands of earlier career-focused decades.
Vorderman’s past marriages include a brief union with Christopher Mather from 1985 to 1986, followed by her marriage to Patrick King from 1990 to 2000, with whom she shares her two children.
