A Life Shaped by Love and Resilience
Hugh Van Cuylenburg, a writer and podcaster known for founding The Resilience Project, has shared insights into his personal life, including the influence of his family and the lessons he’s learned through love and challenges.
Family Roots and Unconditional Love
One of the most significant figures in Hugh’s life is his paternal grandmother, June. Known for her Sri Lankan accent and humorous personality, she often called him “Hugh Boy.” Her jokes were not always perfect, but they brought joy to the family. June was also an excellent cook, especially when it came to curries. However, what made her truly special was the vanilla ice-cream she would give to Hugh and his siblings after meals. Even though the ice-cream was often half-melted due to a faulty freezer, it was a cherished treat that symbolized unconditional love.
His maternal grandmother, Joan, was more formal but equally loving. She was an exceptional cook, and Hugh often plays different characters while putting his children to bed, one of which is named “Cook-a-Roast Joan” in her honor.
A Mentor and Guide
Hugh’s mother, Elizabeth, has been a constant source of inspiration. As a teacher, she has shown immense dedication and intelligence. Her emotional check-ins with Hugh taught him the importance of emotional intelligence. She helped him understand his feelings and work through problems rather than rushing to fix them immediately.
Sibling Bonds and Challenges
Hugh’s sister, Georgia, has always been a strong presence in his life. They have shared many experiences together, but growing up, Georgia faced challenges with anorexia, which at times left Hugh feeling overwhelmed. He admits he sometimes disappeared from the situation, finding it easier to avoid the pain.
Hugh recalls a painful memory of being with Georgia when she was sexually assaulted at age three. He felt ashamed for not doing anything, but as a six-year-old, he didn’t know how to respond. Georgia’s forgiveness has helped him heal as an adult.
First Loves and Inspirations
Hugh’s first celebrity crush was Cathy Freeman, whom he admired as a child. He had posters of her on his wall and hoped they could one day marry. His first love was Christie, whom he met at school in Melbourne. Their relationship lasted two years and was a defining experience for him.
During his second year of university, Hugh met Anjali, who quickly became a close friend. Their friendship eventually turned into a romantic relationship, leading to a transformative experience in northern India where they volunteered as teachers. This journey pushed Hugh out of his comfort zone and influenced his professional path.
A Lasting Partnership
Hugh met his wife, Penny, when she was 13, during a date with his brother, Josh. They reconnected 17 years later via Facebook. After meeting for coffee in Melbourne, Hugh knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Penny made him feel valued and safe, and her smile was a source of inspiration.
Penny is a writer working on a book about her journey with obsessive-compulsive disorder. There have been difficult times when leaving the house was challenging, but she remains determined to manage her condition so she can be a supportive partner and mother.
Resources and Support
Hugh van Cuylenburg’s documentary, G.E.M, is available on Prime Video and as an Audible Original. For those seeking support, the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service offers assistance at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).
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