The journey of starting a family is often portrayed as a straightforward path, filled with anticipation and joy. However, for many couples, the reality is a landscape fraught with emotional challenges, particularly when facing the heartbreaking experience of pregnancy loss. This is the stark and deeply personal terrain explored in the new BBC drama, Babies, starring Paapa Essiedu and Siobhán Cullen.
The series centres on Stephen and Lisa, a couple in their mid-thirties who, like many in contemporary Australia and across the globe, have consciously chosen to delay starting a family until they feel more established in their careers and lives. This decision, common among millennials, comes with its own set of pressures, and as the show poignantly illustrates, the biological clock doesn’t always align with modern life plans. Their journey to conceive is met with repeated heartbreak, depicted through the devastating disappointment of negative pregnancy tests and the silent terror of early-stage complications.
An Unflinching Look at Miscarriage
Essiedu, 35, and Cullen, 36, who are not parents themselves, bring a remarkable authenticity to their roles. Their initial audition for Babies wasn’t a romantic encounter, but a gruelling argument. “It was this big and long, quite horrible argument – and that’s how they wanted to see how well we got on,” Essiedu explains. Cullen elaborates, “It’s a good scene because not only are they arguing but they’re doing a whole lot of work to try not to hurt each other. That’s how couples argue, right? You land the punches, but there’s also a way of couching it because of the love that’s there.” This dynamic accurately reflects the complex emotional landscape of couples navigating such profound grief.
Written by Stefan Golaszewski, known for his work on the Bafta-winning sitcoms Him & Her and Mum, Babies is a six-part drama that delves into the anxieties surrounding fertility and the desire for parenthood. The show’s naturalistic style, a hallmark of Golaszewski’s writing, presents a raw and unvarnished portrayal of miscarriage. There’s no attempt to sanitise the experience or to embellish it beyond reality. Instead, the conversations between Stephen and Lisa unfold with a verisimilitude that is both comforting and, at times, deeply unsettling. Even mundane moments, like Lisa’s bemused reaction to Stephen’s weekly indulgence in jelly beans, feel entirely real amidst the profound emotional turmoil they are experiencing.
The Everyday Amidst the Unspeakable
“They’re going through this awful thing but it’s still about the day to day,” says Cullen. “And that involves how you spread butter on your toast when you’re really angry, and making cups of tea. I mean, how many cups of tea did we drink? Really, we should have been sponsored by Yorkshire Tea.” This emphasis on the everyday underscores the reality that life, even in its most challenging moments, continues.
The series tackles the often-invisible grief and multiplying longing associated with pregnancy loss, a subject rarely given such prominence on screen, especially in a dedicated television format. The show highlights the quiet devastation of moments like Lisa having to return to work the day after a miscarriage, forced into trivial small talk about the weather while carrying an immense burden of grief.
Breaking the Silence
Cullen admits, “To my shame, being the age that I am, and being a woman, I still learnt so much from this job.” Her sentiment is echoed by the reality that, despite roughly one in four women experiencing miscarriage, it remains a topic often shrouded in silence and whispered about behind closed doors. The actors felt a profound responsibility to portray this sensitive subject matter with accuracy and empathy.
“Because this is something people struggle to talk about and it’s something so easily hidden and kept within, the responsibility I felt was to approach this with sensitivity and kindness without knocking someone over the head with a sledgehammer,” Essiedu states. “You know, to be real and honest and never trivialise what is a big thing for anybody to go through.” Their research included speaking with people who had experienced loss, delving into podcasts and books, and consulting with midwives for medical accuracy.
Navigating Grief: Different Paths
Stephen and Lisa cope with their loss in different ways. Stephen, influenced by his upbringing, adopts a “keep calm and carry on” mentality, a form of stubborn optimism that, while well-intentioned, begins to wear on Lisa, who is weary of platitudes. The series avoids presenting one character’s coping mechanism as superior to the other’s.
“There’s no right or wrong because this is something unprecedented. Everyone is doing their best to cope with something insurmountable,” Essiedu observes. He can empathise with Stephen’s need to find solace, noting, “Sometimes I feel like in life, you’re just trying to grab onto something, anything that can help you feel secure or safe.”
A Growing Conversation on Screen
Babies joins a growing number of contemporary productions exploring the complexities of pregnancy loss. Shows like Dead Ringers, Severance, Fleabag, and Virgin River have touched upon the subject, and a recent play at the Royal Court in London, Guess How Much I Love You, unflinchingly depicted a couple facing difficult reproductive decisions. Notably, Luke Norris, the writer of that play, also appears in Babies as an actor.
The hope is that Babies will open up much-needed conversations. “My favourite thing about making this show has been the fact that when people ask me what I’m working on and I tell them, it gives them this invitation to share their own experiences – of loss or parenthood or early marriage,” Cullen shares. “That’s all it takes, just bringing it into a conversation and into people’s living rooms on the BBC. All it takes is one person to bring it up and then you see this ripple effect.”
Evolving Masculinity and Parenthood
The series also offers a nuanced portrayal of Stephen’s emotional openness, reflecting a broader shift in modern masculinity. Essiedu notes, “Generally, we’re moving away from the more traditional thought that dictates that as a man you must be strong at all times and never show weakness… This feels like an extension of that progress and shows what is possible for men, and that will hopefully lead into the kind of fathers that we’re able to be.”
The series aims to provide a mirror for those who have experienced similar heartaches, offering a sense of recognition and validation. While it may be difficult to watch for those who have lived through such experiences, the intention is to foster understanding and reduce the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss. By bringing this deeply personal journey into mainstream television, Babies encourages a national conversation, creating a space for empathy, support, and healing.
All episodes of Babies are available on BBC iPlayer from Monday, 30 March, with the series also airing on BBC One from 9pm that night.
