The Power of Feline Influence
Moving into your thirties often brings with it a series of profound realisations about the world. These insights can significantly alter one’s lifestyle and perspective. For instance, you come to understand that nothing good happens after 3am, that flossing is essential for dental health, and that anyone who doesn’t like cats might just be a misogynist.
This might sound like a niche opinion, but bear with me. Regardless of their sex, cats are inherently feminine. Their historical ties to goddesses in Ancient Egypt have long associated them with women. Cats are graceful, elegant, majestic, and female-coded. Some of the best female artists in history have featured their own cats in their work: Gwen John, Frida Kahlo, and Tracey Emin.
I have a cat myself. Her name is Blanche DuBois, and she’s five years old. It’s always amusing when my vet asks for my surname and I reply, “Mine or the cat’s?” Over the years, I’ve noticed how differently men (friends as well as those I’ve dated) respond to her. Most are nonplussed. A few are active cat men, and these have tended to be the most thoughtful, left-leaning, open-minded among them. They are happy to patiently wait for the cat to come to them. A common mistake, usually made by people who are more familiar with dogs, is to impose on a cat’s space and assume it will love you anyway. That’s generally not how it works.
Blanche is very friendly, but she will scratch at anyone who tries to pick her up immediately without so much as a head stroke first. Personally, I find her to be a very good judge of character, and have noticed who she takes to and who she doesn’t – usually, if she allows someone to pet her, it’s a good indication of someone’s decency.
I’m convinced that all the good guys like cats. But cats still need a bit of decent PR. Consider Dave Franco, who was named People’s “Sexiest Cat Dad”. The actor regularly talks about his two cats in interviews, revealing how he used to own two before he met his now-wife Alison Brie and was on the dating scene. “I remember when I was single, and I would go on dates and I would tell these women that I had 36 cumulative pounds of cat at home, and then I would never see these women again,” he said during an interview for the film Now You See Me.
The men who have actively told me they don’t like cats have been on the more conservative side, espousing other views I don’t agree with and behaving in ways I find somewhat troubling. Obviously, as a single woman in her thirties, I’ve heard the “crazy cat lady” thing, which is honestly just laziness at this point. There are more inventive ways to be sexist. Anyone who leans into that way of thinking is not going to be someone I want to date or even be around.
And while it’s totally fair not to be “a cat person”, at least in the sense that, on the whole you prefer dogs, it’s one thing to express that preference and be open-minded to getting to know any cats that come your way, and quite another to do an almost hubristic huff at the idea of cats and anyone who associates with them. Like Paul Mescal and Jessie Buckley, who sparked an online furore after their derision over cats in an interview for Hamnet. “F*** cats,” teased Mescal, who added that the creatures were “too clever”. It was a bad day for the cat-loving Normal People fans.
Call it silly, or downright deranged, but I’m convinced that liking cats suggests you possess certain qualities that bode well for romantic partnership: patience, gentility, and appreciation for female strength (many cats have a superiority complex; it’s just who they are). These are all things that straight women want from male partners.
Maybe we’ve been getting it wrong all this time. The way to judge whether a man is decent is not by asking about his job, his family, or even his relationship history. Perhaps it really is as simple as posing one simple question: do you or do you not like cats? Put it to the test, and you might just wind up smitten as a kitten.
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