Embracing a Fitter, Calmer, Stronger Life: A Coach’s Daily Habits for Midlife Women
Kate Rowe-Ham, a respected women’s health coach, menopause fitness specialist, and bestselling author, offers a glimpse into her personal daily practices that underpin her professional expertise. Her journey, marked by a significant shift from high-intensity training to a more strategic approach to fitness and well-being, provides valuable insights for women navigating midlife and beyond.
The Evolution of Training: From Stress to Strength
Rowe-Ham’s path to fitness expertise began later in life, qualifying as a personal trainer at 40 while raising her youngest child. It was during this period that she recognised the detrimental effects of her relentless high-intensity training and running. Instead of fostering health, it was placing undue stress on her body. This realisation spurred a deep dive into research, leading her to discover the transformative power of weightlifting and the principle of progressive overload – gradually increasing weights while decreasing repetitions within a training session.
The impact of this new approach was profound. Rowe-Ham experienced significant improvements in her mood, sleep quality, and energy levels. Crucially, her body composition shifted favourably, even as she navigated the metabolic changes associated with menopause. Her training methodology allowed her to embrace these changes positively, fostering a sense of accomplishment rather than concern.
Movement as a Daily Necessity
For Rowe-Ham, daily movement is not just a recommendation; it’s a fundamental requirement, particularly due to her ADHD. She likens herself to a dog, needing to expend energy through physical activity to prevent her days from feeling chaotic. This commitment to movement was powerfully demonstrated during a period of immense personal challenge.
Four years ago, when her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Rowe-Ham stepped in to care for him. In the final three weeks of his life, she moved in with him and maintained her commitment to daily exercise. The weights she lifted were demanding enough to occupy her mind entirely, offering a mental respite from the emotional turmoil. Even on the very morning of her father’s passing, she completed a 15-minute weightlifting session. This focused effort, she explains, allowed her to push through the crushing anxiety of his impending death, providing the mental fortitude and energy needed to be present for him in his final moments. It enabled her to offer comfort and a sense of normalcy, a connection she cherishes.
Embracing the Unexpected: Breathwork and Cold Water Immersion
While Rowe-Ham cherishes her daily outdoor walks as a non-negotiable part of her routine, she also discovered a profound appreciation for cold water immersion and breathwork. Initially, she harboured scepticism towards practices like breathwork, given her naturally high-energy disposition. However, the challenging circumstances surrounding her father’s illness provided an unexpected gateway to its benefits.
She learned to control her breath, a vital skill when engaging in cold water immersion. Mastering techniques such as box breathing and the Wim Hof method proved instrumental. These practices became a powerful tool for managing panic attacks, which she had experienced previously. While acknowledging the benefits of yoga and Pilates for de-stressing, she found that breathwork offered a more direct way to centre her mind, which could otherwise wander.
Journaling for Connection and Clarity
Journaling has emerged as another vital habit for Rowe-Ham, enabling deeper connections with herself and her husband. She advocates for a minimalist approach, suggesting that even a few bullet points of gratitude noted at the beginning or end of the day can significantly shift one’s perspective, especially for women in midlife.
This practice transcends mere self-reflection. It provides a concrete record of her experiences, making it easier to articulate the reasons behind a stressful day when communicating with her partner. In the whirlwind of running a business, raising three children, and managing ADHD, dedicated time for connection can be scarce. Journaling bridges this gap, facilitating more meaningful exchanges and strengthening her relationship.
Navigating Sobriety and Re-engagement with Alcohol
Rowe-Ham’s relationship with alcohol has been a journey of significant change. She maintained sobriety for two and a half years during the most intense period of her father’s illness. Her decision to reintroduce alcohol has been a conscious and mindful one, marked by moderation and a different approach.
The catalyst for her period of sobriety was the immense pressure of her youngest son’s rare genetic lung condition diagnosis, coinciding with her father’s own health crisis at the start of the pandemic. Alcohol had previously served as a coping mechanism to numb the chaos. Her foray into sobriety allowed her to confront past traumas and gain forgiveness for her younger self. This period also had varied effects on her children; while her daughter appreciated her increased presence, her son found their interactions less intrusive when she was drinking.
Her return to occasional drinking wasn’t driven by a desire for the previous level of consumption. A holiday in Majorca marked a moment of conscious decision to have a glass of rosé, which she found surprisingly underwhelming. She remains vigilant about her tendencies towards compulsive thinking but believes her current consumption is unlikely to return to its former frequency.
Nourishment as the Foundation for Healthy Choices
Rowe-Ham’s history with disordered eating and exercise focused on body shrinkage has given way to a profound understanding of the power of balanced nutrition. She now prioritises three wholesome meals a day, recognising that while occasional treats like chocolate and crisps are enjoyed, consistent healthy eating is paramount.
This focus on nutrition has been a game-changer, significantly reducing her desire for both snacking and alcohol. She observes that many women, particularly in midlife, engage in extreme restriction during the day, leading to cravings at night. When blood sugar levels are unbalanced, making healthy choices becomes considerably more challenging. She has learned to identify when a craving for wine is actually a sign of hunger or thirst, a void that balanced nutrition can fill. The presence of adequate protein and fibre, and stable blood sugar, diminishes the temptation for less healthy coping mechanisms.
Strategic Supplementation and Home Gym Essentials
When it comes to supplements, Rowe-Ham advocates for a selective approach, recommending creatine, magnesium, omegas, and vitamin D with K2. She advises consulting with a dietitian or GP for personalised recommendations regarding vitamins B or C. Beyond these, she suggests that most other supplements are an unnecessary expense.
For home fitness, Rowe-Ham stresses the enduring value of investing in a comprehensive set of dumbbells, ranging from 3kg to 17.5kg. While she also has a barbell, she notes it’s not essential for beginners. She encourages a gradual build-up of equipment, assuring that every piece will be utilised. The accessibility of weights at home, she argues, makes it far more likely that individuals will progress and implement progressive overload, ultimately making them a worthwhile investment in one’s health. This home setup has largely replaced her need for gym visits.
