Finding Strength and Calm: Life Lessons from a Menopause Fitness Expert
Kate Rowe-Ham, a leading women’s health coach, menopause fitness specialist, and bestselling author, shares the daily habits that have transformed her life and are now guiding countless others through midlife and beyond. Her journey, marked by personal challenges and extensive research, offers a refreshing perspective on health, well-being, and resilience.
Rethinking Fitness: From High Intensity to Strength Training
Rowe-Ham’s own fitness evolution began later in life. “I didn’t qualify as a personal trainer until I was 40 and my third child was quite young,” she explains. It was during this period that she realised the relentless high-intensity training and running she was engaged in were likely causing more stress than benefit to her body. This realisation sparked a deep dive into research, leading her to discover the transformative power of lifting weights.
Her exploration led her to the principle of progressive overload, a training method where you gradually increase the weights lifted and decrease the number of repetitions over a session. The impact was profound. “With progressive overload I really noticed that my mood, my sleep and my energy all improved,” she states. Crucially, her body composition also changed significantly. While she experienced a period of weight gain, which she attributes to metabolic changes during menopause, the strength training made her feel positive and empowered about these shifts.
The Daily Imperative: Movement as an Anchor
For Rowe-Ham, movement isn’t just a choice; it’s a necessity, largely due to her ADHD. She likens herself to a dog, needing to expend energy outdoors to prevent her days from becoming chaotic. This commitment to daily movement proved invaluable during an incredibly difficult time in her life.
Four years ago, her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Rowe-Ham stepped up to become his primary caregiver. In the final three weeks of his life, she moved in with him and maintained her commitment to movement. The weights she lifted were challenging enough that they occupied her mind entirely, offering a mental respite from the emotional turmoil. “Even on the morning my dad died, I did 15 minutes of weights – and every time I did, I wasn’t thinking about “is it going to be today? Is this the day?”” she recalls. This practice provided her with the energy and mental focus to be present for her father, offering him companionship and a sense of normalcy during his final days.
Embracing the Unexpected: Breathwork and Cold Water Immersion
Rowe-Ham admits to initial scepticism about breathwork. As a naturally high-energy individual, practices that seemed to encourage stillness were met with doubt. However, her experience with cold water immersion, a practice she now cherishes, opened her eyes to its benefits. “When my dad was going through everything, it enabled me to connect with my breath,” she shares.
She learned techniques like the box breath method and the Wim Hof method, which have become essential tools. These practices have been particularly helpful in managing panic attacks. “I was having a period of really bad panic attacks before and I haven’t had one now in a long time,” she reports. While acknowledging the de-stressing benefits of yoga and Pilates, she finds that breathwork offers a more profound way to anchor her wandering mind.
Journaling for Connection and Clarity
Journaling is another practice Rowe-Ham finds immensely beneficial, especially for midlife women navigating complex lives. She advocates for a simple, bullet-point approach, emphasizing that extensive writing isn’t necessary. “Just the tiniest bit of noting gratitudes first thing in the morning or last thing at night can really shift whatever’s going on,” she suggests.
This practice has also proved invaluable in her relationship. “It can be really helpful if your partner comes home and asks why your day was so stressful, because you can actually remember why and share a bit more,” she explains. In the whirlwind of running a business, raising three children, and managing ADHD, journaling provides a tangible way to connect with her husband, fostering deeper understanding and shared experiences.
Navigating Alcohol: A Journey of Mindfulness
Rowe-Ham’s relationship with alcohol has evolved significantly. She remained sober for two and a half years during the most intense period of her father’s illness. Her return to drinking is marked by a conscious and mindful approach. “It might be that if I go to someone’s for dinner, I’ll have a glass of wine that’s just sat there all night and I might sip at, but probably won’t,” she describes.
Her sobriety journey was prompted by excessive drinking during the pandemic, exacerbated by her youngest son’s rare genetic lung condition diagnosis and her father’s illness. “The default button for me had always been to just have a drink to numb the chaos,” she admits. She found that abstaining from alcohol allowed her to confront past traumas and forgive her younger self. While her children had mixed reactions – her daughter appreciated her increased presence, while her son missed the less attentive version of his mother – Rowe-Ham found the experience transformative.
Her return to drinking was not a conscious decision but a moment of impulse on holiday. The experience was underwhelming, and she hasn’t resumed drinking with the same frequency or intensity. She remains vigilant, aware of her propensity for compulsive thinking, but is confident that her drinking habits will not revert to their former level. “I think I’ve had one drink this year so far,” she notes.
The Power of Nutrition: Fueling Choices, Reducing Cravings
Rowe-Ham’s past struggles with disordered eating, where exercise was primarily a tool for weight loss, have given way to a profound understanding of the power of nutrition. She emphasizes the impact of food on stress, ADHD, and managing ingrained “food noise.”
Her approach centres on three balanced, wholesome meals a day. She acknowledges enjoying treats like chocolate and crisps but understands their impact on her habits. She believes her reduced alcohol consumption is directly linked to her improved eating habits. “When your body has unbalanced blood sugars it’s so much harder to make good, healthy choices,” she states. By ensuring adequate protein and fibre, and maintaining balanced blood sugar levels, she finds that cravings, including the urge for alcohol, often dissipate. She can now identify when an urge for a drink is actually a signal of hunger or thirst, rather than a genuine desire for alcohol.
Savvy Supplementation and Home Gym Essentials
When it comes to supplements, Rowe-Ham advocates for a targeted approach. She recommends creatine, magnesium, omegas, vitamin D with K2, and specific vitamins like B or C only if advised by a healthcare professional. “Anything else, you’re absolutely wasting your money,” she asserts.
For those looking to invest in their health at home, Rowe-Ham strongly recommends a set of dumbbells. She possesses a range of weights from 3kg to 17.5kg, along with a barbell. “Get a full set of dumbbells – the investment is worth it,” she urges. She believes that having equipment readily available significantly increases the likelihood of consistent training and the application of progressive overload. While acknowledging the cost, she frames it as a worthwhile investment in long-term health, noting that she rarely needs to visit a gym anymore.
